It’s Friday and I’m tired. I’m sat thinking about the rain you bring and how days off seem worlds away when you work two jobs. Not that I’m complaining. I love what I do. I love my city. I love the people.
But sometimes when coffee and biscuits aren’t enough to wake me up or distract me from the thought of falling into a cosy bed I realise that I need a rest. It’s only ever talking to you, October, that I realise that time off is actually a good thing and that looking after myself isn’t as selfish as I might think.
Tonight, when I get home, I’m going to run a bath and lie there with a candle burning listening to the rain. I’m going to completely switch off and forgive myself for ever saying I was useless at anything. I’m going to lie in complete silence and finally let my brain shut off.
Sometimes all you need is a bit of comfort. You see I always struggle to say no when it comes to work. I convince myself a day off will lead to failure and that truthfully is what I fear the most.
Now it's on mornings like this where I'm rushing out the door I realise I should have spent that 10 seconds telling my mum I love her, I should have text my boyfriend to check he was having a good day. Because in the end the only true failure is forgetting to love.