We’ve all been there, head over heels for a guy who seems to have misplaced his morals and respect for women with crudeness and a small willy (we don’t know why we go for these dickheads, we just do). He lies to you (Hi Ben), plays multiple girls at once (Hi Jake), says he’ll take you out multiple times and doesn’t (Hi Will), sends you texts like ‘free house, come over’ (Hi Charlie), ‘isnt sure what he wants at the moment’ (Hi Ollie). Yeahhhhhhhhh, you know what I mean… In my shocking dating history, I have had a fair few run-ins with these kind of guys, and finally (after a lot of trial and error) I think I’ve gotten down how to get over a guy.
1. Block him
Block his Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Number… the sooner you get his dumb ass out of your life the better you’ll feel. There’s nothing worse than ending things with him, then a day later seeing him snap his next victim. It will also make you resist the temptation to message them. And it will stop them from messaging you every couple of months because they’re bored and ‘miss you’ (I can promise you they don’t).
I know when you tell your mum that he broke your heart by taking another girl to a hotel for a romantic weekend away and wakes her up with a bouquet of flowers which you see on Instagram whilst you’re still talking (shoutout to my main man Sy for that one) she’ll tell you he’s not worth your tears, you’ll just get even more mad. But it’s important to outlet your emotions, cry over what he did, not him as a person because if we cried over all the shitty boys in the world then we’d have no time to do anything.
Clean your room, change your bedding, open the windows, have a shower, scrub your body. Get every trace of him of you. And fresh bedding makes everything seem ok again… especially when you’ve introduced them to your family and then you find out they’re actually talking to half of England (lol – I would throw shade on this one but they’d probably just have a tantrum and dealing with that is not something I want on a Sunday evening).
4. Be a cliché
Eat that ice cream in your Primark jammies, drink wine and watch Bridget Jones. Nothing cures heart ache like a chick flick and Ben & Jerry’s. Listen to sad music if you’re really feeling hurt – can’t go wrong with a bit of old school Taylor Swift!
5. Don’t get under someone to get over someone.
Not only does this make you rude and stupid, just think how you’d feel if someone did that to you. You’re trying get over a heartbreak not create one for someone else.
6. Rely on your pals
If your friends don’t take you to Spoons after a fuckboys true colours show, are they even your friends? But in all seriousness, quite often fuckboys manipulate you, they close you off from your friends because they know that you’ll listen to their warnings and when they want to get their dick wet they won’t let anyone get in their way – for lads who look like they’ve got dressed in the dark and share a brain cell with their entire friendship group, they’re weirdly good at infiltrating that kind of thing.
7. Be better, not bitter
I think the most useful thing I’ve learnt is to learn from your dating errors. Don’t put all boys in the same category because one weirdo decided to hurt you and be a right creep on other girls Instagram photos- but also do not be taken for a mug, bitter for me is stalking and dwelling on what they did, better is growing from it and warning other girls. (Felix hope you’re doing alright with Frankie, have you told her about that time you were planning to meet up with my friend yet? Good job we both dodged that bullet)
8. Remember your righteousness
Everyone seems more concerned with showing someone ‘what they’re missing’ rather than focusing on their own self-worth. You’re his loss, he’s not yours. Focusing on yourself after a break up is key in any pursuit to get back on track, do something because you want to do it, not because you want to show them up.
I still have a long way to go with exploring the weird world of boys, but so far this has helped me gain some sanity back and throwing shade, as petty as it is, these lads need to be outted for the pricks they really are.