A few months ago, I decided to start taking blogging more seriously, but, ultimately, A-Levels and life in general took over and I stopped creating content I enjoyed and started making either no content at all, or content that I wasn’t proud of – hence why most projects fell short.
I’ve always envisioned this blog to be somewhere where I make things I enjoy, but it became something that represented the opposite. I began to constantly make it negative rather than positive – a factor I tend to want to avoid in my writing. It felt like it was impossible to express one opinion in a blog without me looking at it and thinking how low-effort it looked or how it contradicted a previous post. I couldn’t express myself, and the more I got stuck on that, the bigger my writers block got and in the end, I’d completely given up.
So, once upon a time on May Day morning, I sat and deleted my old blog account for good, and the Instagram that joined that. I had a cup of tea and a seriously thought about whether this was something I was doing because I loved blogging or because I’d done it for so long I couldn’t see myself not doing it… I concluded that it was probably a mix of both. I love doing this, and can’t see myself not doing – but I needed to restart. Every other blog had attached a bad memory and I hated that. The person blogging 6 months ago is not the person writing today and I think that’s the beautiful thing about it. Everything toxic from my life has disappeared, and that’s the way I intend for it to stay.
The next few months I intend on focusing on myself, my happiness and my health rather than clinging onto things that drag me downand dishearten me. I was not motivated in the slightest 6 weeks ago, but now I’ve changed my lifestyle I’ve become so much more welcoming to a routine.